Here at the Medical Mommas, we do our best to treat customers like family. We know that issues will come up from time to time, but our motto is to treat people like we would want to be treated. At the end of the day, if we do that, everyone is happy.
Just because I love ya'll, and everyone needs a good laugh at my expense, I am going to share with you this example of how customer service can go horribly wrong. :)
It started out when I decided I was going to try to buy what appeared to be a cute bathing suit off an online website. Granted, it was only about $25, so I didn't know how high quality it would be, but I thought that even if I could wear it for one season that might be worth it.
I checked out the measuring guide and return policy and decided to order. It took a really long time to get to me- about 2 weeks. No biggie, I wasn't in a hurry, but when it finally arrived I opened it up to see how it was going to look.
Now trying on bathing suits is no task for the faint of heart. I had prepared myself that it might not be as flattering as the size 0 model with zero cellulite they had wearing it in the photo, but..... When I went to pull it up I noticed something was very wrong. What in the fresh hell was going on? It was kind of like a thong but not really. Then in the front, it looked like boyshorts almost, but not really covering my lady parts in a way you would like them covered in front of total strangers at a pool. WTF?
I took it off and laid it on my bed and as I looked really hard at it I figured out exactly what the problem was. It was backward! The crotch was in the back where the butt should be. Now, this is a one-piece suit, so clearly, this was not just be doing dumb and putting it on wrong.
There was another bathing suit I had ordered as well. It was also a one piece. When I tried it one, the cups came about the level of my ribs. It was made for a person with a freakishly short torso. Needless to say, that bad boy wasn't covering up these boobs. I have one word for you OBSCENE. Don't nobody want to see all of that! NOBODY.
So naturally, I emailed the company and told them my predicament to see what the next logical step was to try to correct the issue.
So here is the first email I get back. I love how they offer that I could just keep the suit and give it to my friend. Hmmm. ladies you are going to have to get in line for this thing or either take turns wearing it, let's not fight about it, there are plenty of days of summer for everyone to see this crotch in the back masterpiece on themselves.
At this point, I am still trying to be a decent person so I reply back to them below.
Now keep in mind I am a Physician Assistant working in Internal Medicine. My off-hand use of the word vagina is honestly just normal everyday conversation for me. My friend that is a teacher told me that she couldn't believe said that word so easily. I told her it was probably like her saying the word "pencil."
So here is what the customer service guru sends me back.
Uh...NO. How about I already sent you $50 and you sent me 2 deformed bathing suits. I don't think I will be sending any more money your way. And your welcome Sophia for the "kind" email, because I am fixing to get unkind, for real.
Honestly, I felt a little twinge of baby guilt when I sent this. I usually don't speak to grown a$$ adults this way, but seriously, this was getting out of hand.
So here we go with the next email.
My favorite part of this email is that they will not take it back if it is worn, damaged, washed or "smelled weird". Seriously, is that even politically correct to say that in 2018? Honestly, I thought it smelled a little weird when it arrived, but who am I to say what smells weird and what doesn't.
So I checked on what it would cost to send it back to the address that they told me to send it to....$23 dollars. The dang thing only cost $25 to start.
At this point, I really had just accepted that I had lost my 50 bucks, because I was sure as shittin not shipping it back to them for another $23, but I figured I might as well see what they had to say since we had already taken it this far.
Okay, people- Done. Finished. Over It. Bye Phelica. I don't know what you want to call it, but they got me with this one. Maybe it was just the straw that broke the camels back on the backward bathing suit saga? I was ready to give them my final send-off.
So friends, let's take this as a lesson in customer service. Treat people kindly. If you screw up, it's cool, just make it right. At the Medical Mommas, we are humans too and we definitely make mistakes, but we promise to never send you a crotchtastically backward bathing suit!